Bandhu Milan (Get Together) was celebrated by Sakha a Community Based Organization working for the rights and dignity of MSMs and Transgender (TG) on 22.03.09, at 34-Duplex, Sailashree Vihar, Bhubaneswar. This event was supported by SAATHI a national level organization working against HIV&AIDS. The event not only tried to showcase issues of concerns faced by MSMs and TGs but also tried to unite all the MSMs and TGs and provide them a forum to celebrate their sexuality and take pride in their identity.
What I liked best about this event was that all of us felt accepted and we did not feel as if we were different from others, and who we were and what we believed in were not sinful or a crime. Each of us had dressed up for the occasion as we wanted to, and danced away to the tunes as we wanted to. Subham the President of Sakha took the lead in making us feel at home.
I wish we get to celebrate more of these events as this is the only way we can celebrate our identity and orientation.
Sohamm.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Query
Yesterday, I have gone through some study materials where I got confused about these words. Please help me in clarifying my doubts:
- What is Transactional Sex?
- There are different factors which influence our sexuality like our economic, social system, gender, law, history, culture, ethics, religion, political etc. But I do not understand how political factors affect our sexuality?
Saturday, March 21, 2009
The anatomy of sexual abuse:
Since the past few months stories of sexual abuse(within homes) have been coming out in the open, Josep Fritzl in Austria and closer home is the Mumbai rape of a daughter by her father and the Shimla rape of children with disability by teachers in their own school. The reactions were surprising; many did not believe that this could be happening in India. Parents abuse both physical and sexual is quite common in India, we just don’t talk about it or like to think that it happens in India, we belief that all this is western import and safely brush it under the carpet.
Bad parenting is the worst possible secret in India, we turn our sons into bullies who revel in physical brutality, and we force our daughters to passively accept what is being doled out to them. In India we do believe that families do not require counselling on parenting, we believe that it is automatically learnt (as we believe sex is automatically learnt and should not be talked, discussed or be taught) once we have children.
One of my acquaintance has a son below 18 who is really spoilt, vicious, manipulative, and communal to the core, I and people around her believe that he requires counselling, the mother of this bully has stopped talking to us as she believes that only mentally ill people go for counselling, I would like to tell her, “Madam, your son is mentally ill, he needs counselling”.
I know a acquaintance who beats up his daughter black and blue for no fault of hers, but each time we bring that up, he would say, ‘I do it for her own good’ otherwise she is going to get spoiled. I know of young boys being sexually abused by their elder cousins, uncles and their fathers’ friend. In fact recently a man in his thirties who had come for counselling shared with me his story where as a young child of 8 a 18 year old cousin had lured him to oral sex and that happened a number of times before he realized that something was wrong and started hiding from him, his parents would constantly push him to be with his elder cousin and beat him up when he refused to go near him. .
I know about a NGO in one of the Districts of Orissa who manage a womens shelter where young girls are brutally and sexually exploited by the chief and staff of the NGO. These are Government sponsored shelters, where monitoring is lax and where the person who monitors can be bought with a Rs. 599/- Peter England Shirt.
What have we been doing about this?? Nothing really because there is no established mechanism which will hear your stories and take necessary actions, nor do people think that this is a issue that needs attention.
More of these cases need to come out in the open and should be highlighted, so that we don't think that these incidences are BIZARRE, RARE and does not happen in a TRADITIONAL?? CARING?? FAMILY ORIENTED?? country like India, and more importantly it will make other family members aware and alert to these possibilities that might be happening under their nose.
Ultimately our goal should be to prevent and protect the tender and innocent children who still probably cannot comprehend that a crime has been perpetrated against them by the very near and dear ones that they love and cherish.
SARITA
Bad parenting is the worst possible secret in India, we turn our sons into bullies who revel in physical brutality, and we force our daughters to passively accept what is being doled out to them. In India we do believe that families do not require counselling on parenting, we believe that it is automatically learnt (as we believe sex is automatically learnt and should not be talked, discussed or be taught) once we have children.
One of my acquaintance has a son below 18 who is really spoilt, vicious, manipulative, and communal to the core, I and people around her believe that he requires counselling, the mother of this bully has stopped talking to us as she believes that only mentally ill people go for counselling, I would like to tell her, “Madam, your son is mentally ill, he needs counselling”.
I know a acquaintance who beats up his daughter black and blue for no fault of hers, but each time we bring that up, he would say, ‘I do it for her own good’ otherwise she is going to get spoiled. I know of young boys being sexually abused by their elder cousins, uncles and their fathers’ friend. In fact recently a man in his thirties who had come for counselling shared with me his story where as a young child of 8 a 18 year old cousin had lured him to oral sex and that happened a number of times before he realized that something was wrong and started hiding from him, his parents would constantly push him to be with his elder cousin and beat him up when he refused to go near him. .
I know about a NGO in one of the Districts of Orissa who manage a womens shelter where young girls are brutally and sexually exploited by the chief and staff of the NGO. These are Government sponsored shelters, where monitoring is lax and where the person who monitors can be bought with a Rs. 599/- Peter England Shirt.
What have we been doing about this?? Nothing really because there is no established mechanism which will hear your stories and take necessary actions, nor do people think that this is a issue that needs attention.
More of these cases need to come out in the open and should be highlighted, so that we don't think that these incidences are BIZARRE, RARE and does not happen in a TRADITIONAL?? CARING?? FAMILY ORIENTED?? country like India, and more importantly it will make other family members aware and alert to these possibilities that might be happening under their nose.
Ultimately our goal should be to prevent and protect the tender and innocent children who still probably cannot comprehend that a crime has been perpetrated against them by the very near and dear ones that they love and cherish.
SARITA
Monday, March 16, 2009
Sex with a virgin
Read Bismita's post (see earlier); I can't breathe when I think of the brutality that is the rape of a child. If I knew the perpetrator, I would kill the person. That is my heartfelt response; the one unadulterated by reflection or reason. The myth that 'sex with a virgin cures a lot of things' exists in many societies besides ours; a sickening reminder of how perverted the human mind can become. To rape anybody requires one to be inhuman, and to be completely lacking in empathy. To rape a child means that humanity is lost forever in the perpetrator. That is why I would not hesitate to kill such a being, because to me, that life is already lost.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Media Reporting on vulnerability, sexual minority and HIV&AIDS
I stopped buying Indian Express as I felt that it no longer covered issues that I thought were relevant. For me working in the field of Sexual Reproductive Health & RIGHTS and HIV&AIDS it was important that social issues like livelihood, violence and abuse (against women, sexual minorities, and other vulnerable marginalized groups), empowerment, poverty alleviation etc. be addressed through media and reports, so that the wider civil society reads it empathizes with these issues and voluntarily comes forward to fight against it.
I did feel that these were issues not being covered by Indian Express. And in Orissa the choices of getting a newspaper which is impartial, unbaised is very limited. One of my close friends who knows me and my eccentricities gave me his subscription of Indian Express and asked me to go through it for a month. Surprises! Surprises, I loved it. In the month of February and March it covered a range of issues starting from crimes against women to the limited option of women having to chose between safety and freedom to sexual minorities issues. I had to eat my words about this newspaper. I have again started subscribing the newspaper. I am sharing one on Status of women for all my friends to read:
ORISSA Ranks high in crimes against women/Sunday/March8 2009/Page II
by Sanjeev Kumar Patro.
According to the latest National Crimes Record Bureau (NCRB) Orissa is placed 11th in the list of States ranked as per crimes against women and has accounted for 4% of such incidences recorded nationally. THe most disturbing fact is that nearly three women were being raped in the State every 24 hours. The cases under the Dowry Probibition Act have risen stupendously outscoring the national trend. With an increase of 25 percent nationally, Orissa alone accounts for one fourth of the cases. Suicides by women have risen by six percent in the state. Category wise, 71 women have ended their lives owing to dowry abuse or harassment in 2007, 14 for not conceiving, and 20 for the reason of cancellation of their marriage, an offshoot of probable dowry cause in 2007. Eleven women took to suicide to excape from terminal diseases like cancer against nil in males. this aspect highlights the economic subservience status of women in our society as treatment for diseseases scuh as cancer are considered to be costly. As many as 28 women committed suicide owing to divorce against nil in males, which is the third highest in the country. WIth 15 suicides owing to illegal pregnancies, Orissa is number two in the country with as high as 53 women in the State cutting short their lives owing to illicit relations.
Shame on us, that we still have not been able to provide freedom and safety to women in Orissa. And we in Odisha have still not understood why gender based budgeting is important to protect and keep women safe and free from discrimination in Orissa.
Sarita
I did feel that these were issues not being covered by Indian Express. And in Orissa the choices of getting a newspaper which is impartial, unbaised is very limited. One of my close friends who knows me and my eccentricities gave me his subscription of Indian Express and asked me to go through it for a month. Surprises! Surprises, I loved it. In the month of February and March it covered a range of issues starting from crimes against women to the limited option of women having to chose between safety and freedom to sexual minorities issues. I had to eat my words about this newspaper. I have again started subscribing the newspaper. I am sharing one on Status of women for all my friends to read:
ORISSA Ranks high in crimes against women/Sunday/March8 2009/Page II
by Sanjeev Kumar Patro.
According to the latest National Crimes Record Bureau (NCRB) Orissa is placed 11th in the list of States ranked as per crimes against women and has accounted for 4% of such incidences recorded nationally. THe most disturbing fact is that nearly three women were being raped in the State every 24 hours. The cases under the Dowry Probibition Act have risen stupendously outscoring the national trend. With an increase of 25 percent nationally, Orissa alone accounts for one fourth of the cases. Suicides by women have risen by six percent in the state. Category wise, 71 women have ended their lives owing to dowry abuse or harassment in 2007, 14 for not conceiving, and 20 for the reason of cancellation of their marriage, an offshoot of probable dowry cause in 2007. Eleven women took to suicide to excape from terminal diseases like cancer against nil in males. this aspect highlights the economic subservience status of women in our society as treatment for diseseases scuh as cancer are considered to be costly. As many as 28 women committed suicide owing to divorce against nil in males, which is the third highest in the country. WIth 15 suicides owing to illegal pregnancies, Orissa is number two in the country with as high as 53 women in the State cutting short their lives owing to illicit relations.
Shame on us, that we still have not been able to provide freedom and safety to women in Orissa. And we in Odisha have still not understood why gender based budgeting is important to protect and keep women safe and free from discrimination in Orissa.
Sarita
Thursday, March 12, 2009
A Poem
Nominated by UN as the best Poem of 2006
- Written by an African Kid
When I born, I black
When I grow up, I black
When I go in Sun, I black
When I scared, I black:
When I sick, I black
And when I die, I still black
And you white fellow:
When you born, you pink:
When you grow up, you white
When you go in sun, you red
When you cold, you blue:
When you scared, you yellow:
When you sick, you green
And when you die, you grey:
And you calling me colored??
- Written by an African Kid
When I born, I black
When I grow up, I black
When I go in Sun, I black
When I scared, I black:
When I sick, I black
And when I die, I still black
And you white fellow:
When you born, you pink:
When you grow up, you white
When you go in sun, you red
When you cold, you blue:
When you scared, you yellow:
When you sick, you green
And when you die, you grey:
And you calling me colored??
Friday, March 6, 2009
email messages
evry fortnight I recieve forwarded mails from many of my friends inland and abroad, on child abuse, domestic violence, battered baby, poverty & natural calamity leading to malnutrition and death. The mails also write that forward this message to the persons you know so that these can be informed to all...the mails contain some of the shocking, unbelievable pictures. Some go through these mails in detail and even try to forward them, others go through them and just give a deep breath of sympathy, some even dont go through them at all or delete them, considering to be trash!! But what next?? Just forwarding theses mails is enough? Are we doing enough by just circulating these among our friends? These are neither any achievements to adorn our screensavers our add our names in the list of social scientists nor are these pieces of trash to be thrown into the garbage!! Today morning I got a mail on child abuse in South Africa. A 3 year old girl raped and beaten up by a man, a 9 mon old baby girl raped by 6 men!! its really stunning to read these and all these... due to the myth prevailing that sex with a virgin cures AIDS!! Disgusting how can people be so ruthless, brutal creatures?? Its high time that these mails should only be read and forwarded. It is alright that we have a prime responsibility of making people aware of all these but things are to be done beyond these....
HIV&AIDS Prevention Programme In Orissa
HIV&AIDS prevention programme in Orissa:
I published this brief below in AIDSINDIA Forum, and I have received many responses about the state of HIV&AIDS programme in Orissa.
Many of them are surprised that this state of affairs continues with the planners and educationist and wonder what would be the common man's opinion about HIV&AIDS.
Many of them are not surprised as they are working in Orissa and have heard these kinds of biased, wrong and irresponsible statements from those who are planning as well as those implementing the HIV&AIDS programme.
Many of them believe that this is a serious issue and needs to be taken at every level. Two of them have stated that they were a part of the mentioned meetings and have heard the remarks and were shocked when they heard it, but kept quiet in the meeting as they really did not know how to respond to it.
What do you do when you hear statements like this? Simply keep quiet or stand up and respond to the statement, this was one of the questions that a reader has asked me.
I can only tell you what I do when irresponsible statements like this are made. I stand up and respond and ensure that the statement is clarified. Red Ribbon clubs, workshops organized by Universities, and any other meetings are important place where people gather to hear facts; it is important that we stand up and ensure that at least correct and accurate information is provided to all.
ODISHA-One will be organizing a series of one day media workshop where we will be discussing not only about HIV&AIDS reporting but also about misrepresenting factual information about HIV&AIDS and the resulting stigma and ongoing discrimination.
Mr. Loknath Mishra, a leading member of the consortium is going to lead this process. We hope that these kinds of initiative even though they are small will help and support the prevention process
Sarita
I published this brief below in AIDSINDIA Forum, and I have received many responses about the state of HIV&AIDS programme in Orissa.
Many of them are surprised that this state of affairs continues with the planners and educationist and wonder what would be the common man's opinion about HIV&AIDS.
Many of them are not surprised as they are working in Orissa and have heard these kinds of biased, wrong and irresponsible statements from those who are planning as well as those implementing the HIV&AIDS programme.
Many of them believe that this is a serious issue and needs to be taken at every level. Two of them have stated that they were a part of the mentioned meetings and have heard the remarks and were shocked when they heard it, but kept quiet in the meeting as they really did not know how to respond to it.
What do you do when you hear statements like this? Simply keep quiet or stand up and respond to the statement, this was one of the questions that a reader has asked me.
I can only tell you what I do when irresponsible statements like this are made. I stand up and respond and ensure that the statement is clarified. Red Ribbon clubs, workshops organized by Universities, and any other meetings are important place where people gather to hear facts; it is important that we stand up and ensure that at least correct and accurate information is provided to all.
ODISHA-One will be organizing a series of one day media workshop where we will be discussing not only about HIV&AIDS reporting but also about misrepresenting factual information about HIV&AIDS and the resulting stigma and ongoing discrimination.
Mr. Loknath Mishra, a leading member of the consortium is going to lead this process. We hope that these kinds of initiative even though they are small will help and support the prevention process
Sarita
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
HIV&AIDS Prevention Programme In Orissa
28 February 2008: in a Red Ribbon Club Meeting held in Mahamayi Womens College, Berhampur Dr. Ramesh Chandra Chyau Patnaik, MLA Berhampur in his key note address stated, “People with AIDS should be segregated and should not be allowed to mix with ordinary people, as that will spread AIDS (Dr. Chyau Patnaik is a MBBS). The Principal of the College, Kalicharan Panda in his speech said, “why should State pay expenses of the people with AIDS for the mistakes they commit”.
11 February 2009: In Berhampur University a sensitization workshop on HIV and Migration was held, this was organized by Central Board for Workers Education. The Vice Chancellor of Berhampur, Dr. Bijoy Kumar Sahoo in his key note address spoke briefly about HIV&AIDS and said,” HIV is dangerous and so contagious that it can spread through touch”. He further stated,” A few African people killed a monkey and ate the meat of the monkey resulting in spread of this virulent disease.
In the same meeting Dr. Trinath Behera, the MLA of Gopalpur and retired Chief District Medical Officer said the following, “if you go and shave in saloon, or have a haircut then you will get AIDS, he further said, ‘Prostitutes have been given certificate that they are not infected with AIDS’, and further said, ‘when you visit them ask them for their certificate, once you have verified then proceed’.
In another meeting of the Red Ribbon Club held at Sasana High School retired CDMO, currently working as contractual Medical Officer in Jagdalpur was invited as Chief Speaker said, “people say that AIDS cannot be spread through mosquito, but I don’t believe it, AIDS is spread through mosquito”.
In PPTCT training facilitated by Aruna and supported by Aruna and OSACS, Doctors argued that AIDS can be spread through mosquito bites.
Chandrasekhar Sahoo, MP, Berhampur has in several meetings said, People with AIDS get it because of sins and mistakes they have committed.
In the ART Centres 2 Kg cereals are being provided to PLHIV&AIDS on the packet it has been stamped, it is only for people living with HIV&AIDS. When PLHIVs in Berhampur reacted they were asked to give it back or shut up.
Don’t these incidents say something about Orissa and the HIV&AIDS programme in Orissa.
Do we still feel that enough is being done to prevent HIV&AIDS in Orissa.
11 February 2009: In Berhampur University a sensitization workshop on HIV and Migration was held, this was organized by Central Board for Workers Education. The Vice Chancellor of Berhampur, Dr. Bijoy Kumar Sahoo in his key note address spoke briefly about HIV&AIDS and said,” HIV is dangerous and so contagious that it can spread through touch”. He further stated,” A few African people killed a monkey and ate the meat of the monkey resulting in spread of this virulent disease.
In the same meeting Dr. Trinath Behera, the MLA of Gopalpur and retired Chief District Medical Officer said the following, “if you go and shave in saloon, or have a haircut then you will get AIDS, he further said, ‘Prostitutes have been given certificate that they are not infected with AIDS’, and further said, ‘when you visit them ask them for their certificate, once you have verified then proceed’.
In another meeting of the Red Ribbon Club held at Sasana High School retired CDMO, currently working as contractual Medical Officer in Jagdalpur was invited as Chief Speaker said, “people say that AIDS cannot be spread through mosquito, but I don’t believe it, AIDS is spread through mosquito”.
In PPTCT training facilitated by Aruna and supported by Aruna and OSACS, Doctors argued that AIDS can be spread through mosquito bites.
Chandrasekhar Sahoo, MP, Berhampur has in several meetings said, People with AIDS get it because of sins and mistakes they have committed.
In the ART Centres 2 Kg cereals are being provided to PLHIV&AIDS on the packet it has been stamped, it is only for people living with HIV&AIDS. When PLHIVs in Berhampur reacted they were asked to give it back or shut up.
Don’t these incidents say something about Orissa and the HIV&AIDS programme in Orissa.
Do we still feel that enough is being done to prevent HIV&AIDS in Orissa.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
SLUMDOGS
Thank you Simi, for reminding us of the power of words.
Since the last few weeks any newspaper that you open you will see the impact that the term 'slumdog' has had on our media, our intellectuals and the rich, who either support it or are against it.
I am not sure whether any of us here in India like this term,and when this is translated into local language then it is worse, I mean in Oriya we would translate it as, 'basti ra kukura', terrible but I think one has to accept it, the very fact that a slumdog is a term that is now being used to describe the marginalized, vulnerable, the poor, the unserved, the underserved makes it all the more important for us to see where have we gone wrong especially while developing programmes and initatives for the marginalized(slumdogs).
I am sure that SLUMDOGS the movie which is currently the flavour of the moment, will be used unashamedly by us both positively and negatively, till we wait for another movie to depict scenes equally breathtaking, distasteful to our middle class sensibilities, very real but unbelievable.
Since the last few weeks any newspaper that you open you will see the impact that the term 'slumdog' has had on our media, our intellectuals and the rich, who either support it or are against it.
I am not sure whether any of us here in India like this term,and when this is translated into local language then it is worse, I mean in Oriya we would translate it as, 'basti ra kukura', terrible but I think one has to accept it, the very fact that a slumdog is a term that is now being used to describe the marginalized, vulnerable, the poor, the unserved, the underserved makes it all the more important for us to see where have we gone wrong especially while developing programmes and initatives for the marginalized(slumdogs).
I am sure that SLUMDOGS the movie which is currently the flavour of the moment, will be used unashamedly by us both positively and negatively, till we wait for another movie to depict scenes equally breathtaking, distasteful to our middle class sensibilities, very real but unbelievable.
The power of words
Hi, all. After a long gap, I returned to the blog this morning. It's just 2 months since Odisha-One started off with the first post, and look at us now - 66 posts and counting ! I took an hour to scroll through much of the writing, looking at the posts with new eyes. Do you know how diverse the subjects are, regardless of who is doing the writing ? And even better, there is frankness and passion, and a lot of compassion, in this blog. Congratulations to all of us - let's keep in mind that life changes in an instant, and somebody may find their instant while reading a post on our blog. Let's keep it up; we are the voice for so many who are not able to speak for themselves.
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